MARRIAGE IS A DAILY LIFE

Before I continue writing, forgive me for the title of this post that may sounds like it understates the meaning of marriage. NO! It is not an understatement. I respect and uphold the values of marriage and family. 

    The title of this post is my simple conclusion, for me to be more realistic, sufficiently knowledgeable, to decide consciously and understand the consequences, when entering marriage life and that marriage is not that "vague" and "scary". We worry about things we don't know, right? Its because we don't know what to face and the risks. Therefore, by understanding marriage more realistically, I hope that I will enter marriage life more relax and confidently that this is a new chapter in my life that I will live with the man I love, a new exciting chapter we both live together. If life is a journey, we both choose to travel it together.

Then, why is my conclusion that simple? Here we go. Sit and relax. Have your coffee. Read this carefully!

    When it comes to a relationship, where two adults who are established and who have DONE with the past, we found each other and love each other, I want to be with my man forever and as the responsibility of both parties as two adults who make decisions consciously, I want this to manifest in a marriage. 

    I have been looking for a reasonable, non-dramatized, non-exaggerated explanation of marriage. I learned from my failed relationships that the cause of the failure is that one party feels ready to continue the relationship while the other party is afraid to vow or commit themselves or give up some of their freedom for one word called COMMITMENT. I found that the words _commitment_ and _marriage_ were quite scary for some people, that's including me. Then the relationship go without clarity and without goals. Yes, there is love there, there is longing, but where will we go next....

    Marriage is a word that carries many meanings and feelings. Its like a tall and sturdy gate, that we can only peek through a narrow hole and be curious about what is really going on behind that locked gate. The gate that limits something behind it to be seen that is there said to be beautiful but we don't really know it. We feel like wanting to go inside but fear of what we might see and have in there. We must have the courage to open the gate to truly know and not be tormented by our curiosity. Otherwise it remains seem mysterious, vague and scary. The key to open that gate is knowledge, preparations and realistic expectations.

    Hollywood and Disney present stories about happily ever after and are reinforced by couples walking by the flowers garden, lying down on the bed of roses, always smiling, happy. Meanwhile, social media displays photos of couples sharing love, cheerful laughter, and super ideal families. This image of the perfection of a relationship is built up in our subconscious, so that we are very careful and afraid to make mistakes which sometimes even make us inhuman. There's often societal pressure and personal expectations tied to marriage. The fear of not meeting these unrealistic expectations of the relationship failing can be daunting. Cultural or societal expectations about marriage can create pressure, leading to apprehension about making the 'right' decision.

    I am a woman with logical thinking. I will always try to understand everything fundamentally, and able to convert it into something practical and real so that in whatever situation I am firm in my stance and understand what is happening. When it comes to marriage I must be able to discern between fantasy and reality. This is very important so that I don't get caught up in unreasonable expectations of my partner, or of our marriage and of ourselves. 

    In reality, there is no (ever) perfect marriage as perfect as the movie stories or legendary fairy tales which always end with "they lived happily ever after", or at least I've never heard of it. We will still live our daily lives, only this time we are willing to share a bed with our partner, we will get involved in small fights because of different habits, we are the ones who usually hang towels neatly after bathing while he just throws them away, we like chatting and like to exchange stories while he will only respond it short, we still have to pay monthly bills, maybe this time we share the responsibility, we have to be willing to take turns enjoying the bass beats from the blue-tooth speaker with music that is different to our tastes, and still many of the normality of daily life will still go on as usual when in marriage.

    Do we realize that when we wake up together in the morning we are not "magically" as beautiful and smell good as when we were on a date? The initial passion and romance depicted in fairy tales might evolve over time. Sustaining romance in a long-term marriage requires effort and may not always resemble the intense, idealized love seen in stories. Managing finances together, dealing with budgeting, saving, and possibly financial constraints is a significant aspect of married life that fairy tales often overlook.

    Do not forget to list this into the fact of marriage : EMOTIONAL UPS & DOWNS - Marriage is not always a constant high of love and romance. There are ups and downs emotionally, and partners need to navigate these fluctuations together.

    Therefore, marriage is for two adults who are able to take conscious decisions and responsibilities, have the same goal in their unity, have the desire to always be together, are able and willing to honestly communicate their feelings and intentions, act faithfully, agree that cheating not a solution whatever the problem, and (this is also very important) that is each of them have done with the past. 

    Good or bad memories with a previous partner (if any) share them wisely, there is not a single woman in this world who will be comfortable with the presence of another woman even in memories, especially when compared, I think the same goes for men. We want to always be the main person in our partner's hearts & minds. Make sure we are ready to enter a new life with new thoughts and new love. Be wise!

    COMMUNICATE | COMMUNICATE | COMMUNICATE

Always connected. Don't take too long to reply to messages, if you can, don't delay. Make sure your partner knows where you are, this is not an instruction but a sign of respect. You don't have to cheat to lose someone. You can lose someone from a lack of communication, attention, and disrespect. 

(Well, how many cups of coffee have you finished reading my chatter?) Hehe :D 

    So now the questions are : 

Do we have the same goal for marriage, to always be together, love, support and respect each other? 

Are we both aware that the birth of a child in the family is God's gift, or maybe we will not have children?

Are both aware that we will age and getting older? 

Will he go through it all and still want to be with me, and will I go through it all and still want to be with him? 

    In joy and sorrow, in sickness and in health, in good moods and bad moods, when I'm in a good shape and when I'm fat, when I'm grumpy because of PMS, when my belly is flat or heavily pregnant, when I smell good or am sweating. Will I remain treat him lovingly when he is shabby and grumpy, when we're in disagreement, the same question applies to him as to me. 

    If you answer all those questions consciously, YES WE DO. YES WE ARE, joyfully and not with a brain full of dopamine, then marry him / marry her. 

Its about knowledge and preparation, what we decide and have prepared ourselves to live with the consequences and risks that may occur. Remember, that we do our best to prepare ourselves based on what we know, and that there are many things that are beyond our control, so involve God in every plan. I do not rule out love and romantic excitement in relationships, but to survive in a marriage requires more than just love and romantic excitement. Love alone is not enough!

Put the marriage in God's loving protective hands, cause it is part of God's beautiful plan.

I DO, until death do us part!

SOLO PARENTING - A GRATEFUL ADVENTURE

Seeing Kiki today who is no longer a child that I can carry, instead... Kiki is my honest and spontaneous discussion partner, Kiki who has started her career, I see quite far the journey we have traveled together and I never stop thanking God for HIS und-ending love and mercy. How time flies, she has accomplished her postgraduate studies this year.

As a single parent, Kiki is a reflection of my life's journey. Like parents in general I also experience worries and fear. Fear of not being able to educate and raise her properly. Afraid of making mistakes so often I 'forgot' to enjoy her existence. Worry, have I been present to be the parent she needs? I have to manage my time as well as possible as a working mother who is also a bread winner and a head of the family.

I don't know how to be an ideal parent. I was realistic enough to accept that our situations were different compared to 'normal' families in common. With only one single parent plays multiple roles as a Mom, a Dad, a bread-winner, a friend of each other, of course it is different compared to the ideal family.

Our life journey taught me many life lessons. The hardest learning process was how not to project all my fears and worries onto her. I experienced a very deep inner struggle until I finally realized that Kiki is an independent individual who was born with the freedom to be herself, without the need to be burdened by all forms of my worries. Of course I still teach her about the values of life that she should live, to always be thankful in any situation, to always involve God in every single thing in life.

Our life is not perfect, our journey is not always smooth, we are certainly not an ideal complete beauty family, but we are fine! :)

To God all the glory!

THE LOOKS

Don’t prioritize your looks my friend, they won’t last the journey. 

Your sense of humour though, will only get better. Your intuition will grow and expand like a majestic cloak of wisdom.

Your ability to choose your battles, will be fine-tuned to perfection. Your capacity for stillness, for living in the moment, will blossom, and your desire to live each and every moment will transcend all other wants.

Your instinct for knowing what (and who) is worth your time, will grow and flourish like ivy on a castle wall

Don’t prioritize your looks my friend, they will change forevermore, that pursuit is one of much sadness and disappointment.

Prioritize the uniqueness that make you you, and the invisible magnet that draws in other like-minded souls to dance in your orbit.

These are the things which will only get better.

Donna Ashworth

From The Right Words: when you need them most

LIMIT

In my 30s, when everything in my life was about achievement, and I was working hard at fulfilling my dual role as a single mother and a career woman, I was often challenged by motivational quotes about pushing our limits. "Break your limit!" "Push your limit!" were all about thinking and acting beyond reasonable limits, and achieving success in society, promotions in a fairly fast time, prestigious positions followed by various privileges, which for some people I was considered not ambitious enough for all of that.

Does that mean I have to do anything, regardless of ethics to achieve what is called success? Is it wrong if what success means to me is different from the standard of success in society? Is being successful the only reason I'm alive? Why should I be successful according to society's standards? The more I grow older I think again, what limits were actually to be pushed and broken?

In the end I believe that limits exist and are made to emphasize that we are human beings those full of limitations and limits exist to keep everything in balance. Have you ever imagined if our body continues to grow tall without limit? How troublesome is that? Likewise if the desires and passions in our humanity grow without limits. 

Now if I look back, walking through memory lane, I can't stop being grateful that my daughter and me both are doing well and supporting each other and we are contented. I count myself as contented instead of successful. I am entrusted a good job, with its privilege, and level of influence that enables me to serve people and share good things. I am more than happy when knowing that my existence brings good influence to others.

I don't think that I have to be successful according to anyone's or any standards. I do the best in my ability to succeed, not only to my satisfaction but to be able to bless others. For me a meaningful life is more noble than just being successful and happy.

The world of reality has its limit, the world of imagination is boundless. (Jean-Jacques Rousseau)

SEVENTY-SEVEN TIMES

"Have you ever experienced having hard time to forgiving?" 

"I have"

We have all been in situations where we have done wrong and desire forgiveness—from a spouse, family member, friend, or even a co-worker. Sometimes the person we most need forgiveness from is ourselves. And then there are the times when someone is asking us for forgiveness, and we have to look deeply in ourselves to offer it, no strings attached. It's hard! Whether you are giving or receiving forgiveness, it's a very powerful thing.

"Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, 'Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?' Jesus answered, 'I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.' " Matthew 18:21-22

Some time ago a friend in Bali (we've been friends since college), whom we haven't been in contact for quite some time, suddenly texted me and forwarded a text she got from someone, in which the content of the text was about me which was described very badly.

She knows, everything told in the text was not true. She knew that Ita, whom she had known for so long, couldn't possibly do something like that. In the end, we laughed about it.

Not long after, I received another forwarded text message (with the same content) from another friend of mine. OMG. I don't know to how many people this message has been sent to.

I thanked them for forwarding that slanderous texts to me. They trust me more than a total stranger who sent them the text and said somethin cruel about their good friend.

They suggested me to contact the sender of those slanderous messages and confront what he had done to me. With gratitude for their sincere concern I refuse to do so, as it would be pointless for me to explain.

I choose to think that the sender of the message, who by the nature of his job is to create characters and write stories, at that time he was creating an imaginative character and he named that character as Ita. He described the character as a woman who likes to control, interferes with the lives of those around her, is very demanding, jealous and fussy. This imaginative character is what he shared to my friends.

That is not me. Even my friends knew it wasn't me. So, it's useless for me to explain to the world that it's not me. If the world chooses to believe it is the real Ita, then that's their right, because believing is a decision.

What people think about me is none of my business!

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32

Forgiving | Do you know what that is, to forgive?

Its a decision we make to release a person from the feeling of anger we have at them. Its strange. Its hardest of all to forgive someone we love.

"Are you having a hard time forgiving?" 

"I am"

FUN FACTS ARE NEVER FUN

FUN FACTS are never "fun"!

As if starting a new job (or joining a new group) wasn’t scary enough, so often we’ll be asked to introduce ourselves by way of a “fun fact.”

Inevitably, at that moment, we will forget everything we’ve ever done, every place we’ve ever been, every of our accomplishments. Then, there will be nothing to say, and we’ll end up blurting out our "un-fun" things, or something equally uninteresting. 

It’s not our fault. This is a bad practice, a damning prompt. Employers, especially, should not ask their employees to produce fun facts. It’s enough to be there to do the job for which they were hired.

😀

But, if you once again find yourself in a situation in which you must produce a fun fact — and you will — you might as well be prepared. The ideal fun fact is two things (in my opinion) : (1) interesting enough to ensure nobody makes you do it over, and (2) not so interesting that everyone has lots of follow-up questions. It doesn’t have to be fun. It will rarely be fun. You just need something to say.

Fun fact about me? 😉🤔

SAHABAT JADI CINTA

Kamu bisa nggak sadar, ketika dia diam-diam menyelinap di hatimu sebagai orang yang paling kamu cintai dalam hidup. Ada yang bilang bahwa cewek dan cowok tidak akan bisa bersahabat hingga erat dan dekat karena keduanya pasti akan saling jatuh cinta. Well, pemikiran tersebut memang masuk akal karena perasaan manusia sangatlah dinamis, bisa berubah seiring berjalannya waktu.

Kalian berdua merasa nyaman bersama

Kadang tidak perlu kata-kata, tapi dalam keheningan pun kamu bisa merasa nyaman menghabiskan waktu bersamanya. Asal dia di sebelahmu, asal dia menemanimu seharian, dalam diam pun kamu bisa merasa senang.

Ngerasa ada yang kurang kalau dia nggak ada

Ini akibat kalian terlalu lama bergaul dan tahu kebiasaan masing-masing, bahkan tahu apa yang akan dipikirkan oleh satu sama lain.

Sahabatmu ingat betul setiap detail hal-hal yang kamu suka atau benci dan kebiasaanmu

Namanya sahabat, kamu pasti hafal kebiasaannya dia dong? Mulai hal tersimpel hingga yang paling kompleks. Hubungan kalian jadi semakin dalam karena kalian berdua secara tidak sadar melakukan apa yang dilakukan oleh sepasang kekasih.

Kalian nggak sadar kalau cinta itu datang tiba-tiba

Seperti orang yang mengendap-endap masuk dan tiba-tiba memberimu kejutan, seperti itulah orang yang jatuh cinta sama sahabatnya. Didn’t see that one coming though.

Kalau kalian berdua sudah berpikir matang-matang dan merasa kalian berdua memang tepat sebagai sepasang kekasih, then go for it! Memberikan kebebasan pada waktu yang berjalan bukan berarti kamu menggantung terus lho. Kalau kalian berdua sudah nyaman satu sama lain dan memang merasa kalian ditakdirkan Tuhan untuk menua bersama, ya jalani saja. Good luck!

BE OPEN BE VULNERABLE - WORK ON RELATIONSHIP

Relationships are never easy. They take a lot of work, but if you push through all the hardships and turmoils, then you can find ways to emotionally communicate better with your partner. Relationships are about creating a life with another person. Unlike family, you choose to have that person in your life because you deeply love and care for them. Both of you have been through thick and thin and you pride yourself in the respect you have for one another.

Relationships take a lot of hard work to make them work. I don't think I have ever heard of a perfect relationship, and if you have, well that person is probably lying. Everyone has a few key qualifications that they need to have in a relationship. For some, honesty trumps loyalty, while for others, sex is above being wealthy. Even though, all of these are pretty important to have in a relationship, I believe communication, especially open communication, is a huge factor in making a relationship truly work.

If you and your partner know how to communicate with each other, then you have a pretty solid relationship. It's a great feeling knowing you can go to your partner with any concern or thought and know they are going to respect and empathize with you. But being completely transparent with your partner is not everyone's strong suit. It will take practice and determination to get it just right. With a few tips below, you and your partner will be communicating well in no time.

1. Ignore Your Fear of Rejection

When it comes to being open, you have to let go of the thought of possibly being rejected. Being open means being vulnerable, and for you to achieve an honest and open relationship, you can't be afraid of what the outcome might be. If you can't be open with the person that you love because you are afraid of what they might think or say, then that is not a relationship to be in. Your significant other needs to be empathic and understanding when you are expressing your feelings, because it's not easy for everyone to be verbal about how they feel inside. Take baby steps when it comes to being open with your partner. If they are not reacting in a positive way, explain to them how that makes you feel. It could help them understand where you are coming from.

2. Be Honest

Don't be afraid to be completely honest with your partner. I'm not saying make-them-cry honest, I just mean to be honest with your feelings and don't lie to make them feel better when it comes to serious conversations. You are doing more harm than good. I appreciate it when my significant other can be vulnerable and honest with me. I feel it makes us closer as a couple, which then makes me feel like I can be open and honest with him.

3. Say Statements, Not Questions

Don't try to beat around the bush when it comes to your emotions. Sometimes people ask questions instead of saying statements as a passive aggressive way of looking for an answer they want. Instead, just be honest with yourself by saying exactly what you want in an "I" statement way and not a "you" statement. This will help clarify any misinterpreted feelings and allow you and your significant other to get straight to the point.

4. Align Your Feelings With Your Behavior

Try to think about how you are feeling inside. When you become emotionally intelligent with yourself, then you are able to figure out how you can relate that to your outside behavior. Don't try to hide how you really feel. You are not being fair to your partner nor yourself. 

I am a very emotional person. When I am having a deep conversation with someone, I usually have a lot to say. Sometimes I also have a very hard time opening up. When we have arguments, I overthink a lot and takes a long time to respond. No matter how you communicate, as long as you are correlating your internal feelings with your external words and behavior, then you are on the right track.

5. Explain What You Want

Don't be afraid to be direct. It's a key way for you and your significant other to be understanding of certain things and how they affect you. When you explain what you want, whether it pertains to the relationship or some outside influence, there really should be no room for confusion. This is especially key if you are talking about sex. Sometimes there is trouble in paradise, and one of the best things you can do in this situation is to explain exactly what you like and want in the bedroom. Even if it may be uncomfortable for you, you have to take this step to better the sex life between the both of you. Whether it is the good, the bad, or the ugly. Like before, if you are not empathic in a deep, open conversation, then you are just going to end up hurting feelings instead.

Pasangan Hidup Itu Bukan Soal Jodoh Tapi Pilihan

Menurutmu, pasangan hidup itu jodoh atau pilihan? Pertanyaan itu secara otomatis mengingatkan pada  pertanyaan saya bertahun-tahun lalu: Jodoh itu sebenarnya ada ngga siy?

Seringkali saya mendengar orang menghibur seseorang yang patah hati dengan kalimat “Ya mungkin bukan jodoh”. Atau banyak juga yang memotivasi dengan kalimat “Kalau jodoh nggak akan ke mana”. Dulu saya percaya-percaya saja. Tapi semakin lama, saya jadi bingung memikirkannya. Jodoh itu ada ngga siy?

1. Bicara soal jodoh, artinya ada seseorang yang ‘mau-tak-mau’ akan bersama kita. Sedang setiap orang memiliki pilihan yang berbeda. 

Dulu saya berpikir jodoh itu adalah sesuatu yang “mistis” sekaligus romantis. Maksudnya, konsep bahwa ada seseorang yang diciptakan untuk satu sama lain, itu sangat indah bukan? Karena dengan begitu, takdir sudah menjamin bahwa suatu saat kita akan bertemu dengan “orang itu”. Namun kemudian saya berpikir, bukankah setiap orang punya kehendak bebas dan pilihan? Bagaimana bila seseorang yang ditakdirkan untuk saya itu memilih untuk hidup selibat? Apakah itu artinya saya sudah dikhianati oleh jodoh yang bahkan belum saya temui?

2. Tak ada dua orang yang benar-benar cocok atas segala hal. Sebuah hubungan selalu tentang kompromi.

Jiwa lugu saya dulu juga berpikir, tak ada yang bisa mengalahkan takdir. Bila dia jodohmu, kecocokan itu sudah mendarah daging dan sulit diingkari. Namun, semakin dewasa, ternyata saya melakukan kompromi ketika sedang jatuh cinta. Ada hal-hal yang tidak cocok dari dia, namun saya terima dan sebaliknya. Ada hal-hal di antara kami yang sangat berbeda tapi saya anggap tidak apa-apa. Begitulah sebuah hubungan berjalan. Tak ada yang benar-benar cocok antara dua orang, yang ada adalah kemauan untuk berkompromi dan menekan ego sendiri untuk menyikapi perbedaan.

3. Perjalanan cinta bukan sesuatu yang autopilot. Bertahan atau tidaknya, tergantung seberapa besar perjuangan.

Dulu saya juga berpikir bahwa ketika sudah jodoh, sebuah hubungan pasti akan bertahan dan sebaliknya. Jadi kalau sudah jodoh, perjuangannya ngga harus mati-matian. Santai saja, toh nanti ujung-ujungnya sama dia. Di usia ini saya belajar bahwa konflik juga diperlukan untuk saling mendewasakan dan bahkan menguatkan perasaan.

Lagipula, kita sering mempersempit bahwa jodoh/tidaknya pasangan itu dilihat dari sampai ke pernikahan atau tidak. Padahal resepsi pernikahan bukanlah akhir perjuangan, melainkan awal babak baru. Apakah hubungan itu berjalan hingga dipisahkan kematian atau tidak, semuanya tergantung pada perjuangan dan komitmen masing-masing untuk bertahan.

4. Jatuh cinta mungkin bukan pilihan. Tapi apa yang saya lakukan setelahnya sepenuhnya saya yang tentukan.

Bicara jodoh tentu tak bisa lepas dari perkara cinta. Ya, saya percaya bahwa jatuh cinta itu bukan pilihan. Kalau jatuh cinta itu pilihan, tentunya tidak ada istilah people we can’t have, karena kita semua akan memilih orang yang pasti dapat kita miliki untuk jatuh cinta. Jadi apakah mungkin kita jatuh cinta pada orang lain saat sudah punya pasangan? Sangat mungkin. Tetapi, apa yang kita lakukan atas perasaan cinta itu adalah sebuah keputusan yang diambil dari pilihan-pilihan. Bisa saja saya menyatakannya dengan lantang alih-alih menyimpannya diam-diam karena saya sudah berkomitmen dengan orang lain, ataupun sebaliknya.

5. Ketika sebuah hubungan berakhir dengan berbagai alasan, itu bukan karena tidak jodoh. Melainkan karena masing-masing sudah menyerah untuk saling memperjuangkan.

Ketika meng-amin-i bahwa pasangan hidup adalah jodoh yang dikirimkan, lantas saya berpikir, bagaimana jika saya salah menerjemahkan pesan Tuhan? Bagaimana bila saya mengira jodoh orang lain adalah jodoh saya, atau orang lain mengira jodoh saya adalah jodohnya?

Apakah alasan “bukan jodoh” inilah yang membuat suami-istri yang sudah menikah 30 tahun kemudian bercerai? Atau mungkin yang terjadi justru mereka berhenti karena sudah menyerah untuk mempertahankan sebuah hubungan karena satu dan lain hal. Saya lebih percaya yang kedua.

6. Jodoh dan cinta itu irrational, sedangkan mencari pasangan hidup harus rasional.

Kalau melihat bagaimana kita menggambarkan jodoh selama ini–mulai dari butterfly effect di perut hingga bisikan ajaib bahwa dia the right one untukmu–itu adalah yang mistis dan ngga masuk akal kan? Tapi bicara soal mencari pasangan hidup, kita (diharapkan) untuk rasional. Kalau menuruti keinginan, ya saya ingin pasangan hidup saya adalah Irwan Mussry yang tampan dan mapan. Tapi keinginan itu ngga rasional, bukan? Sebaliknya, kita mungkin saja sangat mencintai seseorang, namun karena satu dan lain hal, kita ngga mengharapkan orang itu sebagai pasangan hidup untuk selamanya.

Jodoh adalah konsep abstrak yang memang sangat ampuh untuk memotivasi diri saya sendiri. Saya menyebut “jodoh” ketika sesuatu itu bisa saya raih. Sebaliknya, saya menyebut “ngga jodoh” saat sesuatu itu gagal saya raih.

Lagipula jika benar jodoh adalah sosok yang diciptakan untuk saya dan karenanya garis kami adalah harga mati, saya benar-benar khawatir bila jodoh saya sebenarnya memutuskan untuk hidup sendiri.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

MARRY SOMEONE YOU CAN TALK WITH ...

WHY?

Because ... when we are old and our bodies are no longer able to do many things, the only thing we will do is talk with him.

I always think that as an extroverted woman, I prefer introverted men, I like to have discussions and deep talks. Whenever I talk he would respond in moderation, not too much, nothing less. I'm very happy, and the responses are usually from a different perspective I need to balance my opinion.

I always think that when I come home from work there will be lots of thoughts and stories going through my head, then I will jump on the bed, tell my husband everything, I want my husband to be able to respond enthusiastically, enthusiastic but calm, willing to patiently listen, smiling, then at the end when I have spoken too long he can silence me by hugging me, hugging me warmly, I will melt in his body.

That kind of love will fill you with joy and excitement each day❤ That kind of person that is proof that everything that is happening now is for something good in the future, that kind of person that each time we look into his eyes, I know that "he loves me, and everything will be okay".